The secret to an effective coach? They have their own coach who supports their growth and expansion. For those of you who follow my journey, you know I’ve been working on launching National Cancer Hero Day.
This vision is bold, exhilarating, and yes—a little terrifying. It’s stretched me beyond my comfort zone and created countless opportunities for growth in my leadership.
Along the way, I’ve faced breakdowns, questioned myself, and felt the weight of vulnerability.
In those moments, I turned to my coach—an extraordinary leader who unwaveringly stands for my highest potential. She challenges my patterns with love, holds space without judgment, and stays by my side until I can see the light and realign with my purpose. That’s what a true coach does.
Thank you, Coach Monica, for your relentless faith, your love, and your commitment to my leadership. You embody what it means to be an exceptional coach.
Choosing the right coach is like selecting a co-pilot for your life journey—they should help you soar, not nosedive into turbulence.
A coach isn’t just a cheerleader or someone to pat you on the back; they are a mirror reflecting the next-level you—a vision of your highest potential, even when you can’t see it yourself. But beware, not all coaches are created equal.
Let’s explore what makes a great coach and the glaring red flags to dodge.
The Superpower of a Coach: Seeing Beyond Your Self-Perception
The best coaches see you for who you can be, not just who you are today. They look past your insecurities, fears, and self-doubt, envisioning a version of you that even your bathroom mirror fails to reflect. Their role is to help you stretch into that potential—not to tell you who you are but to guide you toward discovering it for yourself.
Red Flags: Coaches to Avoid Like Week-Old Sushi
Let’s get real: there are some self-proclaimed “coaches” out there who should come with a warning label. Here are five glaring red flags to keep you safe from stepping into a coaching nightmare.
1. Weaponizing Your Vulnerability
A good coach sees your breakdowns as opportunities for breakthroughs. A bad coach? They’ll weaponize your weakest moments against you. If a coach uses your struggles to manipulate you into compliance or control, that’s your cue to run for the hills. Vulnerability is sacred—it’s not a bargaining chip for someone else's power play.
2. Gossiping About Your Challenges
Imagine pouring your heart out to a coach, only to find out they’ve turned your story into tea for their circle of friends. A true coach keeps your breakdowns confidential. They don’t discuss your struggles with third parties or throw you under the bus to elevate their own ego. Trust is the foundation of any coaching relationship; once that’s broken, there’s no going back.
3. Creating a Sense of Obligation
The right coach helps you own your breakthroughs without making you feel indebted to them. If a coach implies that you “owe” them for your success, they’re crossing a line. Empowerment isn’t transactional—it’s a gift they should freely give.
4. Not Leading by Example
A stellar coach is a leader of leaders. They’re committed to igniting leadership within you, not keeping you dependent on them. If your coach doesn’t inspire you to step into your own power or instead fosters a “guru-following” dynamic, they’re not truly leading—they’re controlling.
5. Being Attached to Outcomes
Coaching isn’t about making your coach look good. If they’re obsessed with your results because they want a glowing testimonial or social media clout, they’re in it for the wrong reasons. A genuine coach has no strings attached to your journey—they are invested in your growth for its own sake, not theirs.
Gold Standards: What to Look for in a Coach
Now that we’ve weeded out the bad apples, let’s talk about what makes a coach truly exceptional. These qualities are non-negotiable if you want someone who will champion your growth with integrity, humility, and compassion.
1. Empathy and Compassion in Breakdown
A great coach doesn’t flinch when you’re at your lowest. They’ve been there themselves and know what facing inner turmoil is like. Instead of judgment, they offer empathy and compassion, holding a safe space for you to process and rebuild.
2. Rigorous Personal Growth Experience
A coach who hasn’t walked the path of self-discovery can’t guide you on yours. The best coaches have done the work—they’ve peeled back their own layers, confronted their fears, and grown through challenges. Their wisdom isn’t theoretical; it’s earned through experience.
3. Respect for Your Journey
Respect is the cornerstone of a great coach-client relationship. This includes respecting your pace, your process, and your moments of struggle. A coach understands that you wouldn’t need them if everything was peachy, and they treat your breakdowns with the dignity they deserve.
4. Leading Without Ego
Coaches who are obsessed with being the hero of your story miss the point. A true coach aims to make you the hero of your own narrative. They don’t take credit for your wins or hold your hand so tightly that you never learn to stand on your own. They’re there to guide, not dictate.
5. No Conflicts of Interest
Integrity matters. A great coach doesn’t play both sides in a conflict or position themselves as the savior in every scenario. Their focus is solely on your growth, without muddying the waters with ulterior motives.
Debunking Myths About Coaching
Some coaches like to sit on their high horse, thinking they know better than everyone else. Let me set the record straight: a coach is not a dictator.
They don’t get to tell you what to do, shame you for your struggles, or lord their supposed superiority over you. If a coach acts like they’re the oracle of all wisdom, it’s time to show them the exit.
Coaching isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about asking the right questions. A great coach doesn’t give orders; they empower you to find your own solutions.
The Humbling Journey of a Coach
Let’s not forget becoming a great coach is no walk in the park. It’s a humbling process that requires rigorous training, relentless personal growth, and an unwavering commitment to self-awareness. Watching someone else coach does not make you a coach—just like watching Messi score goals won’t turn you into a soccer pro. You must get in the trenches, confront your demons, and do the work.
Great coaches lead from a place of humility. They don’t flaunt their achievements or use your struggles to inflate their ego.
Instead, they meet you where you are, walk alongside you, and gently guide you toward your next-level self.
In Conclusion: Choose Wisely
A coach has the potential to be a game-changer in your life, but only if you choose wisely. Look for someone who leads with empathy, respects your journey, and has walked the path of growth themselves. Beware of coaches who manipulate, gossip, or make your success about their gain.
As someone who has walked this path, I can tell you that coaching isn’t about finding someone who has all the answers—it’s about finding someone who sees you for who you truly are and supports you in becoming who you’re meant to be. A great coach doesn’t just see your potential; they help you unlock it, one breakthrough at a time.
If my words resonate with you, I’d love to be that guide for your journey. Whether you’re navigating leadership, resilience, or personal growth, I’m here to stand with you. I know how life can stretch and challenge you, but I also know the beauty of what’s on the other side of those challenges.
To help you decide if we’re the right fit, I’m offering a free 30-minute consultation. This is your moment to explore what coaching can do for your life, with no pressure and no obligation. Let’s uncover the next-level version of you together.
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